Americana Part–Two

One thing I shall have to promise is I will try to not mention anyone of note, as you may recall that during my ramble in part–1 concerning the preparation for my trip to America I mentioned the band Boston, singing that great road trip song, More Than A Feeling. No sooner do I do that, but what happens? Their lead singer, Brad Delp, goes and sheds his mortal coil.

On learning of his passing I thought of his band, Boston, and that led me to think also of Chicago, Kansas, The Detroit Spinners, and Miami Sound Machine.

What’s in a Name?

How do you think it would if a radio DJ said, “here is the latest release from Sheffield.” Or, “Coming up later on the show we will have the new single from Dudley!”

Okay, perhaps I won’t dwell here, but somehow you just cannot imagine any pop band getting world acclaim using the names of some of our cities back here in the UK.

What if a UK Band Called Themselves, Stonehenge and The Big Rocks?

No, it just does not work. Perhaps it is simply because we have actually visited some of these places and so associate the sound of the name with some less than romantic visual image? I am not knocking any of our towns and cities, but you just cannot imagine having a number one hit if your band was called Scunthorpe or Brighton can you?

Maybe the names from over the pond produce in one a more sympathetic opinion, perhaps inspired by some Hollywood affected sense of romance? True, the American place names do seem to trip off the tongue more easily, but by the time I get to Phoenix, she will still be waiting as far as I am concerned. If I ever go downtown there again it will be the proverbial day too soon.

The Quality of our Television is Far Better Than the American’s

Well, that’s what we always say anyway. It has to be said the American way of broadcasting leaves poor old Johnny foreigner at a bit of a loss as to understand what is going on. This was something that was brought home to my wife when she decided to catch the last series of Friends before it landed in the UK.

This was something of a surprise to me, as she doesn’t watch it back home. I did wonder quite what had inspired such a previously absent interest. Rho know, perhaps it was the aftershock of visiting Phoenix?

Well, the producers obviously believe the viewer to only have the attention span of a newt, as no sooner have the names of those entrusted with providing our next 30–minutes of entertainment disappeared from view, and the music of The Rembrandts faded, it is straight into the first commercial break, even before the show had begun. It failed to improve from there and that was the cue for me to pick up my book.

It became evident that my wife could not take much of this awful quality TV and was soon channel hopping, only to find that despite 200–channels, there was still nothing worth watching.

I did Raise my Head During the Break When the Car Adverts Came on

Apparently it is a selling feature in the United States to have a car that boasts a fuel consumption of 23–highway miles to the gallon. Can you imagine the derision that statistic would receive in the UK?

In fact, recent studies show that fuel efficiency standards for passenger cars in the United States has remained pretty much unchanged for 20–years at 27.5 mpg. These studies also found there to be two, yes two cars only, that are on sale in the Unitied States that can achieve 40 mpg. By contrast, Europe has 113–models that can do this.

Now there’s an oxymoron for you. No, not something you shout at a Burberry cap trying to drive a Saxo VTR with a 6–inch pipe sticking out at the rear, and who has just cut you up. It’s two words that don’t work together, like European and Union, happy and Mondays and Frontera and Sport. In fact, that’s a bit like saying Blackpool and Las Vegas in the same sentence. I have heard it said that Vegas is like Blackpool on acid. This it may or may not be, but everyone is entitled to his or her own option I guess?

It Seems There is an Automobile God in America

Talking of Las Vegas, it seems the place is utter madness, but somehow it works. For a start it has been built in a desert, it is nowhere near anywhere of any importance. Air temperatures can and do soar to a sweltering level, it has 19 out of the top 20 largest hotels in the world, and in excess of 32–million of us take a trip there every year. Oh, and yes, Elvis will marry you day or night, if that is what lights your fire. What is of particular interest is they also have cars, nice cars, and lots of them.

Exotic Cars, Las Vegas

Yeee –ha, as we don’t say over here, but these folk do. I had learned of this dealer before and had high hopes that he was still in business.

Situated within the forum of shops at Caesars Palace hotel it’s a real gem. Exotic Cars is the name, and whilst you may argue it is not the most original of titles, it certainly cannot be prosecuted under the misrepresentation of goods act.

Whilst walking through a place like this with a camera you quickly become bemused as to what is worthy of a photograph, as given the time and choice, you could make a case for snapping a picture of everything.

Thanks to Peter Steiner

I wish to give thanks here to Peter Steiner at the company, who let me wander freely around and take photographs of whatever I wanted.

If you want to look at what Exotic Cars have for sale at any given moment you can go to their website. If you do go there, just hide your credit card somewhere totally inaccessible before you enter. You could even buy a scale model of a Ferrari F1 car for $6,000, if you thought you would fit in your suitcase.

I Walked Around This Showroom
in Abject Wonder

I saw my first Pagani Zonda in the flesh, gazed at proper Cameros, GT40’s and Chevy’s sitting side by side. There were examples of all those models that America became famous for making years ago, and all that I had been hopeful of glimpsing was actually there before my eyes.

Other exotica included a Koenigsegg that does 0–62 in 3.2–seconds. Those Swedes eh, and managing to look like it was doing just that without actually moving.

More Porsches, Ferraris, Aston Martins, Bentleys and Lambo’s than a stick could be shaken at, and just look at the detail in engine of one of the motorbikes! Mind you, at $60,000 for a two–wheeled banana, it does seem to be a little OTT.

The Wynn Hotel at Vegas
the Only Ferrari Dealership Inside a Hotel

Just down the road at The Wynn Hotel, which is also worth a visit, you will find Steve Wynn who is Mr Vegas. His hotel has the only Ferrari dealership in the world within a hotel foyer, and yes, it could only happen here, in America, in a desert.

At this stage, we were one week into the holiday and it was still looking promising, automotive–wise. My discoveries may not be new, or indeed uniquely American, but at least I was starting to find the weird, the wacky and the sometimes downright hot. Knowing my itinerary I wondered quite how much more I would find.

It was now time to move on, and my next few thousand miles would be spent travelling around the canyons and the wild open spaces of this vast and uncompromising land.

We Left Salt Lake City, Because
we Went There in the First Place!

Now, if you take anything away from these ramblings of mine, and you wish to save some time to go and do something interesting, then do not go to Salt Lake City.

It’s a bit like Worthing. You know its there, you know roughly how to get there, you think there must be something there to do, and then in a moment of sheer foolhardiness, you decide to visit.

The Capital of the Mormon Church

Considering Salt Lake City is the capital for all that is the Mormon Church, it is the most soulless place I have ever had the misfortune to wander into. I was asked for change by a man in the street, who upon realising I was English, asked ‘what are you doing here then?’ I obviously had an option, unlike him.

I thought about doing the tourist bit, as for some reason I had always wanted to hear the Tabernacle choir in full flow. Hall closed for upgrade, so ok what about the cathedral? Ah, you’re non–Mormon, so you cannot enter, and that’s it for the centre of town.

This is a Place You Cannot Find a TV, a Computer or Mobile Phone for Sale

It is where if you walk into Macy’s store you double number of customers, and it is a place where you cannot find a cup of coffee — no seriously you can’t. Alcohol, of course, is only available below 3% ABV. A few weeks after we left we heard that a man went mad with a gun in a shopping mall, and whilst you can’t condone this behaviour, having been there, I can almost understand it.

We headed North on I–15 for Yellowstone and when we found somewhere that sold this brew of the Devil we pulled over for coffee. I needed caffeine, but the owner of the Ford drop head parked outside needed it for warmth. The weather had turned brass monkeys and snow was forecast, but the rumble overhead suggested a thunder storm was more imminent.

As the owner explained, it was what we know in the UK as a kit car with GRP body, so not ideal with an electrical storm brewing up. His wife did not look too impressed either as they kitted up and drove off dressed like a pair of Scottish motorcyclists. They were making for Oregan and many miles still to do. Good luck, I thought, as I climbed into the Jeep and turned the heater up.

A few days later we were at a beautiful location in the middle of nowhere and next to the Colorado River. The scenery was breath taking, and it was one of those photographic moments when the light is just at the right strength and angle to make it work.

The Jaguar Owner’s Club of America had Arrived

If that was not enough to stimulate the optic nerve, the sight I awoke to next morning in the main car park of the motel was even better. I wonder what damn idiot parked the Chrysler Sebring in the middle?

Things can’t get better than a car park filled with this treasure chest of motoring memorabilia can it? Of course, with no salt on the roads, and the warm climate, meant there was no rot to be seen on any of these Jaguar’s, ensuring that corrosion–wise at least, there was nothing to spoil them.

What we had found us here was an Jaguar owner’s club of America out on an annual road trip, all members from which were very friendly and happy to show us and talk about their cars. That is all except for one English couple, that is. Talk about ignorant, but after all, they were British!

Next, we Were Surrounded by Ferrari’s

Leaving the Jaguar’s behind, and dropping across country to see where the Troglodytes of Mesa Verde used to live, there was suddenly the unmistakable bark of an Italian thoroughbred or three that rented the air. Almost as soon as the audible disturbance began, the car park was taken over by the Denver Ferrari owner’s club.

Gingerly making my apologies to my wife, I was off again with the camera, and despite the assurance I had given to the effect this would only take a couple of minutes, I felt I had got off lightly when an hour or so later I found she was at least still talking to me.

If you have ever watched the film Forrest Gump, you may recall a particular scene, where after many months of running back and forth across America, one bearded Forrest Gump came to a stop and announced that he wasn’t running any more, but was going home.

Well, here it is, and to see this is what a road trip through America signifies to me. Long, desolate, empty roads with the type of scenery that cannot be found anywhere else. If you travel this way it seems you do have to remember to take plenty of water with you, as without it, you could end up like the horse above!

No US Road Trip Would be Complete
Without Completing a Drive on the Mother Road, Route 66.

Established in November 1926, Route 66 was one of the original federal routes and originally ran from Chicago for 2,448 miles to Los Angeles, passing through Illinois, Missouri, Kansas, Oklahoma, Texas, New Mexico, Arizona and California.

Route 66 has been sung about, written about, romanticised about and talked about for years, but sadly now, with it being by–passed by a bigger and so called better road, it is something of a sorry sight to see.

On 27th June 1985, being replaced by an interstate highway, Route 66 no longer appeared on published road maps, as it was no longer a part of tht interstate highways system.

Portions of the old Route 66 that passed through Illinois, New Mexico, and Arizona have since been designated a National Scenic Byway and renamed as Historic Route 66. As a consequence it has begun to return to many maps, but this time as a place of historic interest.

Once a thriving main route that linked towns that are now crawling slowly towards woodworm (cue wind noise and tumbleweed) Route 66 is almost like a little world all on its own. Some still try to catch the passing tourist and his bucks, and good luck to them. It all feels very nostalgic, especially when you catch a glimpse of a real live Vette in such magnificent condition.

All those who know me may well be asking about news of the two–wheeled machines I may have seen. Well, when it comes to motorcycles, America means Harleys, and so not to disappoint I will talk about them here here.

The Bronze Bike had Broken Down.
Never had that Problem With any of my Honda’s!

I started this road trip through The United States wondering if America and cars were two words that could share the same sentence. When you get away from all the mainstream areas, now and again it does seem that thankfully they can.

What fascinates the American’s, bike and car–wise, may not all be home grown these days, but at least those native to this vast and rugged land can still sometimes be inspired by beautiful machinery.

It is all out there, but to find it you may have to go looking quite hard. However, you will not be disappointed if and when you do find what you are hoping for.

Thank you America for restoring this person’s faith that you do have a love of nice cars. It just goes to show that statistics don’t always tell the true story. It may only be utility vehicles that occupy the top–ten of the most popular new vehicle sales, but out of all those utility vehicle buyers, I wonder how many have something far more exotic slumbering away in their garages?

First Published November 2006

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Americana Part–Two